Enjoyment of explanation

With a burst of posts explaining things, I think, am glad to have them. Can be odd to consider that lots of times have a better grasp of my own story only after trying to explain to others. But why? Or maybe I just think it can be odd. It really does make sense.

In finding explanation can communicate to others tend to have to focus on common ground in some way, versus just focused on your own feelings which can lead one astray.

And I get a LOT of support in various ways where much is interest for ideas but maybe some is people wondering about these things.

Global attention reality of the web didn't come with an instruction manual.

(At least it didn't for me, if you got one--please share.)

Feel much better now than in the past when wondered if it would ever make sense! And now am very much enjoying that sense of, yes.

And can get to the obvious even for myself, like imagine if the enterprising folks who started Uber and Lyft had instead argued with taxi companies that they should let people book rides and pay for them on the web. Such great and simple ideas! They'd still be arguing with nothing changed am sure.

Yup.

That's like me with the math. Arguing with the establishment, rather than implementing the changes and presenting to a ready audience. Oh wait, I DID do that to some extent, though definitely didn't monetize. Ok. I have no problem with that. There have been math ideas could have potentially turned into a paid product, but had bigger things to do. Still do. But, my need for approval from the establishment was WAY too high, as that can simply be childish, like looking eagerly for approval from a parental authority. THAT have corrected. Figuring out authority helped me fix.

And appreciate appropriate authority more now, and not less.

So yeah, much progress in my own understanding from work done through blog posts, and satisfied with my own approach, so far.

But am also thankful for the entrepreneurs who DO start the companies without bothering to argue with the establishment. They just get it done.

Then for the rest of us? So much nicer to have more options to get to where we want to go.


James Harris

Where ideas should move things

Will readily admit that important in my story is a reality that there are just certain things I don't want to do. And with my ideas have angled for a situation where the ideas move things. Like readily admit they DO draw attention from all over the planet. Haven't elaborated on how that works, so will here.

Like with math, when I introduce a discovery which can be useful, can just post on my math blog and then watch the country counts jump. And THAT is just what shows as for instance people with ad block or whatever hides information sufficiently for them to not show, will not. And I can see the interest play out about what I would expect based on value of that particular discovery. And watch it peak over a certain time, and then diminish as discovery has successfully propagated globally to saturation.

So there are people as I'd expect USING it and then we get to the question of, so are they talking about it? I guess maybe, but am not a certified authority, and is a prestige area where there are establishment authorities.

Some experts in any number of industries or working for institutions may actually be incapable of talking about a discovery from someone like me, without it being certified by establishment authorities--at least officially.

Possibly they could challenge mathematicians, but can you imagine any doing that really? I find that hard to visualize.

With years of this going on, am confident can say--they're stuck.

Then again, that's if they even care who discovered.

With reference we often use things without thinking of such details. I know I do. And even when told? I usually forget. Just too many things out there discovered by lots of people. If I need a tool? Just give me the tool. I rarely care who made that tool.

However, some people am sure DO. And regardless to some extent can track what interest is drawn.

Have watched that LOTS of times through the years and sometimes get curious with certain countries and still the quiet, and to me is just the usual. World uses the ideas, and I just don't have to deal with official recognition.

Covered math but similar things happen in other areas. And like with my entertainment ideas? Is fascinating how that actually works. And yes, those ideas went global as well. However, am puzzling over why for now, seems most of the impact has been in the United States. Um, I have rules applied to myself to limit how directly I impact any entertainment in any country. To me is just the right thing to do. It's not like most people would even have a clue. But I would know.

My ideas do not sit and wait. What actually happens is, I watch what they do after I release them to the world, like here, and make adjustments as the data arrives. Has been that way for YEARS. And the ideas are tireless.

Once unleashed they usually make changes I can detect. Is just for me to keep up with what interests me.

Why would they make changes?

When are better, people do tend to pick up better ideas rapidly, develop better techniques and use them, and I can detect how things shift as I know what to expect, as are my ideas.

And guess is helpful to admit, if global jump in interest does NOT happen? Then I go back to check the ideas. Or if there are not the expected changes. Has helped me find out something was off, though am rarely just wrong, any more. Other times just find out my expectations were off. And the ideas are working.

Will admit have been surprised at SOME of the things they are doing to the entertainment industry, especially in the US. But for the most part was within my expectations.

Monitoring is TONS of fun, of course. We're talking entertainment.

I just want better entertainment.

From my perspective has been a great adventure, where I enjoy how things have played out.

Has worked well for so long, but I have ran into a problem. Seems so silly but so far haven't figured out a work-around. Have gleefully worked regular jobs through entire time, funding my own hobby.

But you know what the trouble is with global attention? Eventually I guess employers aren't so keen on hiring that guy who is known all over the world. Silly people.

I'm so much fun!

Which is the pressure am facing now. Pushing me to move in a different direction.

Am working through the problem space now, which is how I use my blogs. And this blog is figuring it out.

My blogs are really good at what they do.


James Harris

Accepting my attention reality

Occurs to me is easier to give various perspectives on my experiences over last twenty plus years doing my own research that still miss certain aspects. So here is yet another. Which makes this a post I consider behind the scenes which is labeled as such.

Like by 1999 had already built a bit of a reputation arguing with math people on Usenet. To me was weird as said was just some guy trying to figure out my own math things, but there were people there who hated me anyway. Haters are a problem better understood now. Back then their behavior was a big challenge for me.

Main thing though is had already garnered quite a bit of attention in certain kinds of obscure circles, arguing math, especially as had collapse a certainty of important math discoveries, more than once.

Last one took about 6 months before I discovered my error, after having spent months arguing with people who knew the mistake. And took as an opportunity to make fun of me with more passion, and luckily I figured it out myself. To me was lame behavior, seeing the error but not pointing it out to me. Not behavior one forgets.

Thought about giving up on math research after this stunning and very humiliating thing, and decided instead to quit caring about finding something great, and should just focus on fun! That is, I decided I should accept I enjoyed the effort, without looking for reward, which I did.

And promptly as soon as had that release and peace with continuing, invented my own mathematical technique using what I decided to call tautological spaces. Like once I relaxed, found a path which really was my own mathematical discipline. But I didn't know that then. So yeah, started singing karaoke to gain experience with public facing, around the time had a feeling eventually would need public facing skills.

But was 2002 when I knew for sure.

Then I found this clever way to count prime numbers close to what was known, but also with a neat trick that did SO much is hard to explain. But like that thing pushed me into calculus, which meant diverging from using only simple techniques, which mathematicians call elementary methods, which had decided to do at beginning of my hobby of chasing my own research started in 1995. Oh yeah, have some posts on my prime counting way on this blog. And link is here to one.

Cool thing about that was no doubts about it being correct so no possibility of repeat of previous collapse of my ideas. And hey, was with prime numbers! Figured no way that could not move things.

Then my own math discipline sent me down very weird paths, as wrote my one paper that got published, then math journal chief editor tried to delete out. And months later math journal shutdown. Or as I prefer to say, the math journal keeled over and died. Oh that was in 2004.

That was weird.

And concerned about how to know if a math argument was correct or not, still not wanting a repeat of that pain of being wrong, I came up with a functional definition of mathematical proof. Later I'd do more functional definitions, including my latest on authority. But my latest formalized one, where is written like a dictionary definition is of entertainment.

Oh yeah, so consider by 2004 had my own way to count prime numbers, and had witnessed an entire math journal implode on my one math paper finally published, and am trying to figure out what to do with my life. And NOTHING was going as expected.

But can be safe in saying that these things could not have happened without others noticing and now realize yeah, was global in a HUGE way, at least in math circles for sure. But not much official that I could see and YES was bugging mathematicians. And getting nowhere through it all.

In 2005 went to San Francisco, California, USA and was the BEST thing in many ways, but in lots of ways I was an emotional mess.

My ego was stroked by the global attention which I could detect though mostly through Usenet, and by knowledge of my discoveries, but in check by lack of official recognition, and still needing a regular job to make money. But karaoke was more like a celebrity experience for me.

By 2010 began to focus more, and had blogs by then including this one. My ego was even more in check, and began to pull back from ranting and raving about my situation or relentless talking about how AWESOME I must be with such discoveries.

Would leave San Francisco in 2012.

By 2012 was even more focused but math research had fallen to the side. And was more into other things like political theories and figuring out money, since it dawned on me would be nice to make some. So yeah, struggling with needing to make money? WILL push you to polite and getting along better with your fellow humans.

And now have reached a lot of peace with it all.

Put active research behind me, but promptly found one more math thing which shouldn't have surprised me. You kind of need to relax into research I think.

And, have finally pondered my global reality enough to get a better sense of it. Is still unsettling, but far more settled. Is often surprising, but at least makes sense to me now in ways just did not before.

Guess it does help having over a decade experience knowing you are globally known. Do appreciate the time.

It has been a great adventure. So many highs and lows. Unbelievable highs. Daunting lows. And now? More calm and appreciation. Learned so much!!!

Which is yet another take on things along with the others. Stopping myself as this thing is way longer than I thought it would be when I started. Who knows though where will be after editing.

Of course, like usual, I like to write, edit a bit, post and then edit more. Is my process.


James Harris

Conversations with myself on work

Talk to myself a LOT and writing is work, but also I do work at other things. But also thought it'd be fun to write down some of the things I have told myself for years, like work is more fun.

And you CAN work seven days a week--just switch off between tasks.

Will not even think of retiring, ever, and again, am considering writing work, and figure will still be writing for as long as I can. My only big thing though is figuring out how to make money, within my values.

So yeah, have to add that within my values part with making money, as otherwise makes no sense, as to how I can garner as much attention as I claim I do, without that meaning big bucks.

There is more on the work things I say to myself though. Like don't like to admit, am afraid of relationships, interfering with work! And weekends to me are those times when other people often are not working when I am, as I can detect the world slow down. Also during holidays, which was a strange thing to realize.

I can feel the world at work, which is actually about objective measures which have discussed. That is, noticed that cycles of visits to various things I have on the web ebb and flow with things like the weekday or holidays. My web things tend to draw people when needed, like when they are at work, as my focus is functional.

Am NOT an entertainer.

There is a HUGE difference though between mental activity, and anything physical. Where no, am not into endless physical labor. And even with mental, I need it to be creative which is still exhausting, but after I have something.

Like will edit this post, and eventually get to a point will just try to read it, as if I didn't write it. And maybe laugh a bit at admissions of truths. Wasn't always this way either. Maybe I should change back.

Ooh, what happened to me? How did I get such perspectives? Guess from situations where was having more fun doing things like am doing now, than anything else. Ok, sounds good to end this thing. And after that--editing! More work. Yes!


James Harris

What global takes and gives

Better thing about the web is that ability to put something out here and have people all over the world or just in your little corner of the world, consider and maybe appreciate it. Which is a give and take process as you give content and take feedback. Or try not to take it, or discover if you can take it.

The constant refinement is giving us a different kind of person on the global stage, often with experience that was impossible to gain in the past.

Going through a system that is more like what I call a silo, you could find people looking for a chance to even get to heavy exposure. Or get to ANY exposure.

While on the web you can just decide to put something up, like on social media.

You then become the executive for your decisions, executing your plans and deciding much, long before you can usually garner enough attention to be subject to decision-making from established executives, if you want it.

Which I think is great.

The refinement of constant feedback possible from the web is key to a very different type of person on the global stage--like me!

Which expands the range of content.

If you have something interesting? You can interest others.

Web enables. Your choice.


James Harris