Maybe need some help

Claim to be the world's latest major discoverer where that is a lot about math. But am sure for others is not about what I claim but others certify where relevant people have not. Yet the major results themselves and my other ideas pull attention regardless which is the web difference. So am regardless already globally known, wow.

But that hasn't helped me with basics, like making a living, so am depending on community resources. And readily talked a recent eviction which was not fun! Actually was humiliating. So yeah financial pressure is pushing me to step out of my comfort zone.

Have been working on it. So far haven't figured it out.

And I like figuring things out on my own. But finally am accepting there is just too much information I do not have with this situation.

Used Twitter to scan the web recently in a process I know how to do, which is not easy to explain. In essence I can use what I call probe tweets to gather data from around the planet. That revealed no conspiracy against ME, but helped me figure out some things against broader groups, and posted my analysis not long ago. Here is just one post that kind of covers things I guess.

Much went well as figured out race and put out solutions, spread out to be safe, including on this blog, like with this post. And also figured out some things around deliberate underpay which yeah focuses on plenty of folks including women, and solutions are in process. But is taking too long for my tastes. There is minor pushback going on now which is futile.

Within a decade people will wonder that there was ever a problem around race, the gender wage gap will be gone in most advanced countries, and a few other things. Am sure will be lots of other problems and climate change will be worse though.

But when am I going to make some money? Need to figure out how to make a living. Oh, so what does that have to do with anyone else? Well is a situation where some people...I'm not sure.

Should anyone else even care? Am destined to be one of the most famous humans of all time. (Really? Huh? Seems so wacky and why? Oh, figured out some things. Ok. Really? Huh?) I invented my own math discipline. Am personally solving vast problems others thought intractable in social areas. And can just change the world on any given day when I get the urge. (God help us. God help me, please.)

Maybe being kept in check monetarily is a good thing. Hey is that what the world decided? My analysis is, no. THAT would at least make sense. Is something else going on.

Regardless am now in process of ending the agent system within the entertainment industry as it existed. As have noted often enough, money people scare me so am looking to end systems where people get a percentage on work of others.

You should EARN your own way. And be paid exactly the value of work that YOU do and no more.

Those are the easy things to do. So far have not noticed evidence anyone is doing anything that can even pause the process.

But how do I make money? Now THAT continues to be a hard problem. But why? I keep asking and still do not have a good answer.

Is not just about lack of certifying authority with my most potent ideas either. Maybe is...something else. Maybe the help I need is an objective analysis from someone else.

But if you insult me? And I notice? I will end your life as you've known it. Please do try if you wish and doubt me. That is an area where am well practiced.

Ok that was a bit harsh. Guess am kind of sensitive, especially when consider how rare it is these days for me to come across anything insulting. And besides how real is my ability in that area anyway? But yeah have had LOTS of practice. Comes with the territory as the saying goes.

Where also making myself admit: got much quiet when went broke. Definitely helps with doing research and figuring things out without distractions.

Still some of that is sad, how many people distanced from me, when I wasn't even asking for anything. Can be great just to be around people who support you without asking for a thing, if they support you. And family should. But wasn't like was surprised by who, you know? Just disappointed.

And AM scared of the money people. Look relentlessly for stories about folks who suffered greatly as pressured to keep making the money, making the money, making the money, even if they were dying inside and out.

Have dodged so much this way. Shouldn't I be honest? Yeah I should, so put it down in writing. Am I asking questions where really am struggling convincing myself to want the answers?

Yeah but am also ready for change I tell myself. Not all people are vicious money people desperate to use and abuse creative people for every penny they can get out of them? Of course.

There are lots of decent folks. But how many are money people, eh?

Is there a way to make money without money people if you're someone like me? Anybody got an answer there?


James Harris

My constant web

Part of me has kept wanting some kind of validation, like you go somewhere and take a test! Then you get a test score. But is like another part of me while thinking of this post was like, you mean like learning people all over the world are interested in my ideas?

But yeah have had THAT for years now where didn't feel real, and got tired of saying surreal. And kept telling myself, but should THIS happen then? Or THAT happen then? Those things aren't happening so maybe isn't real, right?

Then finally realized had vague ideas and from where? Why should I have ever known before anyway?

Then that shock to realize I do know now though. I know the reality. Have lived it.

My constant web reality is the way it works, where web lets us determine things were harder to so determine in the past, even though yeah, it does make sense when you think about it. The chatter of celebrity is just about talk. Giving people useful tools? Is on the constant.

I like Euclid as an example. No debates with myself about Euclid. While so recognized to many as a name about something pushed on them in school. He was some guy who did some things and that still matters thousands of years later.

The attention tells. People may not. Certain kinds of chatter may not be there.

Web enables us to check things.

But also yeah, I do get a HUGE amount of validation really from people who must have been sharing things of mine, but is so hidden. Don't like to talk it much. But years ago at times would go looking. Would desperately try to find something, somewhere linking to my blogs or whatever. Never could find. I go by reports from Google. There is so much weird.

(Makes sense though I realized, as linking information is what search engines use! Am not surprised they don't give me direct information there. Could allow me to reverse engineer their entire algorithms for instance. Not that I would, but they actually should only share so much data. Also there are privacy concerns am sure. So figured should note some pertinent reasons.)

Or yeah, I can just do web searches where something of mine ranks highly. And then can wonder, and wonder and wonder.

But is the influence real? Yeah. I've checked. From me liking something to not liking it, can just check how if I talk it that shifts things around planet Earth. And when I check and can't believe, I check again, and again, and again. Then I re-check some more. Which is kind of thing can take over a decade.

Was going to title this post my patient web, but mean patience. Web has been constant though, and patient as well, in terms of people who are mysteries to me, who are out there interested in my ideas and I guess, maybe sometimes in me.

Where will that validation come from if not here now? Maybe was never about that really.


James Harris

Where is my celebrity? Should I know?

Realized years ago there was plus to having money so separate from my web activities as allowed me to learn as much as possible, without the pressures around occupation. To make money you obligate yourself in some way. Like for data entry I was expected to show up during the workweek to my job and do data entry among other things. But when learning can be hard to set proper expectations.

Also made it much more fascinating for me, as studied those web analytics showing such steady attention. Where reality is, was learning, and now with more than two decades of experience on the web, there is a realization know much as a result.

And was all separate from money.

There are two primary ways I get global attention: from cast off from my ideas which draw the bulk of attention, and from the conversation around things I put out there.

The conversation is where there is the possibility of celebrity, where for a long time I would claim to have none, as was unaware of conversation. Then admitted I probably had a little, and finally accepted I don't know. What I DO know is a lack of chatter from sources I've checked, where focused in areas really that dominated in the 20th century. Now am wondering how to check elsewhere.

But yeah, by various measures, have things that pull from 100+ countries every year where that has been true for around a decade.

(What does it take to interest people all over the world? Year after year after year? Guess I should know, eh?)

Can I simply give myself celebrity? Maybe to some extent, but I debate reasons where only one can muster is to make money from it. Even then would need money people as I like to call them. And would be pressured then to do things, like show up.

My attention reality regardless is really cool too though, of course. And is curious to ponder how can gather so much attention one way, without all of certain other. Readily admit, if up to me, would just as soon keep it that way. Is so weird though too. Celebrity IS just the conversation, and nothing else. If you don't have people chattering away, a certain way about you, then you escape many things.

However, cannot simply work to learn without ever putting into practice. And would like to make money. There are goals that are out of reach until I do, and is a good thing for society as well.

My own estimate is that the US economy has lost...too soon to do that yet. Because the situation is delicate. Ok yeah, inspired by cool lyrics from a certain person. I DO study celebrity. And study celebrities.

Watching them I consider my choices and decisions.

How many people get the luxury even without money of possibly simply...yet I keep wondering. Still there is progress. My caution is not stopping anything. Just am moving slowly, like a person on a frozen pond finally getting a sense where the ice is solid.

Or this post would not be published.


James Harris

Explaining jstevh handle

Am in my late forties and have reached a point of appreciation for how the web can make you feel like you are back in school, struggling to learn. And have used this blog to talk much problem solving of me trying to figure things out. But also am lucky in that there were notions that occurred to me early that I feel now were great.

Like decided to build a handle from my name and back then was going to be part of branding as that was en vogue. But now is more practically a way for ME and others to keep up with things. Where primarily is good for social media.

And made handle jstevh from my name: James STEVen Harris

So I pronounce like: Jay-Steve-H

So why the emphasis on my middle-name? Well here is a post that explains how I grew up called by my middle-name. Which I always think of as very much a Georgia-thing. But I guess actually happens lots of places. Though am confident is a known Southern kind of thing along with nicknames, like Billy-Bob.

But now most people call me James, which is kind of interesting. And yeah, a few people call me Jim.

Except back home, and oddly enough with some co-workers who knew me as Steve in San Francisco, but I talk all that in the post.

Oh yeah, so turns out worked out with the web, and am glad started putting that handle on a lot of my social media.

So yeah, there is a method there, and am glad had that good idea early, versus so much had to learn and STILL am learning. The web is still in flux, changing rapidly and ADVANCING in so many ways. Is one of the coolest periods in human history, ever, am sure.

We get to be part of the evolution of one of the greatest arenas in human thought and communication.


James Harris

Pure attention reality and measuring impact

Readily admit did not react well when finally got objective evidence of a decent audience response to some of my ideas. Which is an interesting way to put it. Another way to put it is: struggled with handling properly global interest across several areas from a coding effort with an open source project to my math ideas and beyond.

This blog was made by me over a decade ago to try to get a handle on the beyond would think, from the title. Seems lately to be where I try to process things. And for over a decade there have been people out there keeping up with my content and apparently linking to it, and finally got more thankful. You're all kind of the unsung heroes of my story? Yeah, those of you who fit that description are. I DO focus so much on myself. But for so many years it all just seemed so strange.

For so many years have wondered what is real and how to know. That can really make life a struggle because you still have to make decisions regardless, on the daily.

So much has been and still is a mystery to me. And yeah, mystery matters but I mean that to be about not showing too much to your audience. Some people like to peer behind the curtain, but more just want the performance.

Objective reality here though is telling: have maintained global interest by objective measures from 100+ countries, where THAT number comes from downloads of my open source project for over a decade.

The blogs like here, except for Lost in Commentary, trend to 50+ countries where am relying on third party sources with much from Google. Like I use Google Analytics for country counts as can look at on a yearly basis and even compare between years. I also rely on Blogger stats to some extent, but they are less extensive, for some reason. What's up with that Blogger?

And is very mysterious to me who you all are--out there, all over the world.

Maybe I should work on that, huh? Will consider. There are HUGE positives to me with how things have gone. And have talked here much about the web benefit of being in control, yourself. But the big negative is: then how do you make money? Which to me seems kind of pathetic. Never thought money-making focus would end up driving so much. But also is forcing me to settle things.

We can get a pure attention reality where you share your thoughts and people can be interested, or not. Without so many intermediaries who could too often in the past simply be gatekeepers, who could block people just based on their moods or discretions.

In our times we can know just how terribly that worked as SO many people who would never have done well in the old systems, are getting global now. Guess can count myself as one? Guess I should.

So yeah, I need to work on the mystery. Who are YOU who may be reading now? For those who have supported me through the years, amid the ranting, and the endless repeating of how unsettled I am, and who knows what else wacky, thanks!!! Reality is, most of my global attention is just from ideas that I share without some huge production.

For that to work though, especially to stay at the global level is about the audience for the content.

That is just how such things work.

Measurement though is so much about other people. Sure I can control the content here, and my decisions to post or not, and edit or whatever.

But measuring things like how global this blog is? That is out of my hands.

Information about interest comes from others.


James Harris