Being my own executive

Am sure understate how jarring it was when finally got web analytics data showing my math blog was pulling visitors from 100 plus countries. At first thought certain things would quickly happen and when they didn't, puzzled if data was correct. And later began wondering more about what to present.

Like would tell myself: getting this global attention so maybe have a global responsibility? Shouldn't I put up things that are profound?

Which kind of froze me to some extent for about three years until the shrug arrived. So lots of times, am like, shrug--will just do SOMETHING and not worry how profound it maybe is.

But also at some point a part of me was watching this creative me just throwing up content at will, and without a plan really. Just kind of vague had this idea to somehow build an audience, you know?

And an executive part of me one day was like, enough. And yanked me off the web for a bit.

So then this executive aspect started managing me, and is kind of weird. But what else could I do? Sure yeah is still me, but am in control of everything.

But it also helped me look at things elsewhere differently. Before would concentrate on artists and content, but then started focusing on figuring out executive decisions. And eventually was even critiquing some of them, thinking to myself, would not have let that go out THAT way.

So now usually operate with three aspects in general: a creative side, the writer; an editor side; and an executive side, who manages everything.

But of course other times there are other aspects like a researcher, or whatever is necessary, but the primaries are there for EVERYTHING that goes public. Like this post, where the executive me gets center stage. So it reads differently. My editor side will get it next, while my creative side takes a break. And soon enough you will get it, when I post.

The executive me though makes that decision--to post.


James Harris

Some challenges of global attention reality

Got a HUGE reprieve from full brunt of shift to a global attention reality back in 1996. I had a math paper I thought solved a math problem couple of thousand years old, about packing of spheres. Weird to realize was lucky in that the paper was rejected by an editor of a journal put out by the American Mathematical Society as too simple.

Back then was 26, and had only started doing my own admittedly amateur math research April 15, 1995, as decided to mark the date. Though am suspicious that I might have defaulted later to the tax day here in the US. Am sure though about the month.

Didn't argue with the editor, but moved on to other things including a lot of embarrassing and futile efforts at proving what is commonly called Fermat's Last Theorem. Which worked out for me as in December 1999 invented one of my most powerful math tools, though wasn't certain had done it at the time.

At its simplest what I put down is same as: x+y+vz = x+y+vz

But use it functionally as x+y+vz = 0(mod x+y+vz). Where "mod" just means modular. So like 1 pm is mod 12 hours. While military time is 1300. So you can say: 13 mod 24 is 1 mod 12. So we use modular ALL THE TIME with time. Just wanting to be sure doesn't seem too distant, just a little simple math.

But what I discovered can do algebra for you. Which is really cool. Is also really freaky when you realize the math is doing math, as is perfect, and can manipulate vastly complex expressions.

Future mathematicians will probably no longer do algebra the way it has been done up until our times, as why bother, when the math does algebra better?

But also I figured out my own way to count prime numbers in August 2002, which yeah, made me global at THAT point. But still had a reprieve in that SOME math people argued with me. And SOME tried to convince me wasn't a big deal. And there was no official recognition which continues to this day.

And I've wracked up quite a few major mathematical results, and of course got wise to the behavior.

Am NOT a mathematician. And my mathematical discoveries disrupt vast areas of what people thought was established mathematics, and simplifies HUGE chunks of it. Oh yeah and corrects the foundations of all of it. As I got a paper published showing how to appear to prove one thing under accepted math rules, which you could disprove with an argument using accepted math rules. Contradiction!!!

Thankfully could explain and fix the underlying problem.

Thanks to the web not only went global as a result of my math discovery, but eventually could check objective evidence. And have discussed much over the years. Like thanks to Google Analytics, found out my math blog was pulling interest from 125 countries/territories is how they put it, on an annual basis. Which was at least for a bit. That was back 2007 or 2008, am not sure which. Later I changed the name of the blog, kind of curious. And that dropped precipitously. But last year was back up a bit to 80 plus countries.

Even this blog consistently pulls attention from 50 plus countries annually and that's just what Google Analytics reports, which is more of a baseline. Plenty of people may not show up, like if they opt out of various things.

Years ago when was still in San Francisco, noticed my behavior was puzzling to me. Was convinced back then that I needed official recognition of my math discoveries for certain things to happen. And became aware of the global web attention various ways, but had no frame of reference to appreciate its full significance.

But I was having problems I had associated with major celebrities in terms of my behavior, and dealing with at times, crushing levels of anxiety. At one point was in a townhouse by myself, with a case of beer and a bottle of vodka, telling myself didn't have a problem. And at times was curled up on the floor in a fetal position as somehow felt better as dealt with...whatever it was. Talking it doesn't help. Am much better now.

Web attention is actually simply attention. Unlike some celebrity who can look say, at a television show or a movie or some other thing to get a handle on the 'why' of attention, I usually have a more vague (but recently homeless veteran status got me on television for a bit). And mine tends to be CONSTANT. I can witness brushes of celebrity come and go, with a certain detachment. But my basic attention reality is global by default with a constancy I marvel over as the years go by.

And it is 24 hours a day potential, 365 days a year. And I can check at any time.

Like now before this post goes live and therefore global, just went to look at Blogger stats. Those are different from Google Analytics but not as useful for annual. Here they tell me weekly as default.

In the last week according to Blogger stats this blog had visits from: Belgium, US, Israel, Ukraine, Canada, Unknown region, France, Moldova, and Vietnam

So yeah at least some from unknown countries. How many visits? I don't tell as tells too much information but let's just say, NOT an impressive number. Which for a long time felt like a contradiction which gave me yet another reprieve.

Why is it a reprieve?

You tell yourself you're one of the most famous people in the world with a global attention reality that means you're one of the most influential as well. And you consider how you react to global events where your advice matters, and you look at consequences where you wonder at times about accountability. And you try to maintain an even keel.

Or it just seems surreal. And you can ask yourself: is it even real?

Yeah I rhymed a lot there. Will leave it that way. For a long time I've been a major influence on world events, doing my best as tried to learn, and often learning after that I could do something.

And now most of the anxiety things are gone. No more curling up on the floor in the fetal position, and I don't even drink alcohol any more. And today will monitor our world in various ways, and if necessary, will as I've done so many times before, act for the protection of humanity, as best I can.

(Yeah sounds very wacky. Part of me wishes wasn't true. But also is like, if not me, who? Yeah that rhymes, um, also.)

Have been a portal to our world of incredible tools and some of them are some of the most advanced thinking tools humanity has ever had. But they don't have to help us. They can help us destroy each other and ourselves as well.

We will do ok though. I have faith in many of YOU, and am working on myself. Figure will always be a work in progress.

So yeah challenges? Got those. Am a major discoverer for the 21st century. We do things different now.


James Harris

When opportunity requires all you have

Have made plenty of efforts to explain myself but keep feeling like more could be added for things to make sense. Like have mentioned had major math discoveries, but importantly back in 2004 a paper of mine finally went live. That math paper demonstrated how to create a perfect looking mathematical argument by ALL the established rules--that nonetheless had an incorrect conclusion.

So yeah, by the rules accepted by mathematicians--the paper is perfect. But you can use a separate mathematical argument to prove that the conclusion is incorrect.

Yeah, really cool, huh? I thought so, and realized that with that demonstration my place in human history was SET in a really big way. Which it is. And it DOES relate to questions about mathematical consistency where Kurt Gödel had famous work in that area. And will admit did have some concerns that I might have sunk human mathematics, which were quickly dispelled. For people who wish more who have mathematical background talk on my blog Some Math which also links to my paper.

The copy is available thanks to a European agency (thank God for those Europeans) as the math journal that originally published it, keeled over and died, after one more edition, after the chief editor deleted my paper out, falsely claiming it was withdrawn. I did NOT withdraw it. Why would I?

So yeah clearly mathematicians did not react the way I expected as we are now at 15 years later, and the paper is still there. It STILL demonstrates a flaw and to my knowledge that flaw has still not been officially addressed. But now maybe it makes more sense how I got attention from 100+ countries where initially that was with math.

But I pioneered advanced problem solving tools, which I like to label as a process of abstract reductionism.

And I kept going. Made more math discoveries but started studying other things so functionally defined science. And more recently functionally defined entertainment, and did other problem solving things. Like have analyzed the global monetary system, and others things.

Oh so was it a big deal for me for mathematicians to not officially recognize my discovery? Well it upset me. I expected their help!!! And when was clear they wouldn't help got very upset. But also was curious and realized had a unique opportunity.

So yeah I plugged the hole in the foundations of established mathematics.

Refined my mathematical tools and made some cool major discoveries--without concern of competition.

Though reality is WAS concerned for years until as the years went by fully accepted was in a cool cruise mode--all by myself.

From my perspective as a major discoverer--it was as good as it gets. No shared credit for anything. NO having to make stupid speeches or show up in a suit for some academic whatever. NO reason to be an academic at all. And freedom to range without question.

But also was very stressful. My reality often felt surreal. My advanced thinking tools could give me massive influence hard to explain. And I still had to work for a living. Which got increasingly harder as have talked though things are intriguingly working better in that regard now.

But yeah by ignoring a MASSIVE flaw that showed their math was inconsistent, and needed a fix, those folks claiming to be mathematicians? To me simply proved they were not functionally. And so they were of no use to me anyway. I began distancing myself from them and like to emphasize am NOT a mathematician myself.

Does the world really care? I debate with myself. The math I use is very easy, so there is no doubt of anything I stated here. The paper is still available so mathematicians can in AWE check it at will. And I have massive influence with a global reach of 100+ countries which apparently is not going anywhere.

For a long time I thought I needed the mathematical community. Eventually realized that was silly.

I could build a better one.

And do much else. Am a major discoverer for the 21st century. Who has been given free reign to wing it often and put a unique spin on plenty of things. And I try not to take myself too seriously. Even though routinely have found myself protecting the world, which at times has gotten weird.

But then again, am just glad have been able. God knows why some person like myself gets the kind of authority I have, where have defined authority on my Seriously Commercial blog.

Over the last 15 years plus often have looked at myself and noted to myself--am not impressed. Often I wonder, how do I even know how to do these things, really?

Am a person though willing to seize opportunity though what was in front of me has taken all I have. And consider for me global attention is just a thing. And is NOT going anywhere.

Now though, more and more am like, is cool.


James Harris

Figuring out my in-between status

Yuck. Doing some review of last year once again was looking at decent visits to this blog, with Google Analytics saying had visitors from 57 countries. While also I noted my financial struggles last year were major. So am still in-between where the attention levels can draw globally have not connected to me making money.

Have puzzled for YEARS over this in-between state where at least now I believe the data, while back over a decade ago was just puzzled. And then the number was given was 125 countries for my math blog. So it was even more mysterious.

Now though realize there are not payment intermediaries of which am aware for my particular ways of drawing attention. Where talked payment intermediaries a bit with my post of an idea marketplace.

But like you go to a store, which is a payment intermediary by these ideas, where you can buy products. Or you have products at a store that people can buy. And is more rare to sell products direct to customers.

The store is in-between showing expertise in product selection--what ends up on the shelves. And in bringing in customers and providing for their needs while also facilitating them paying for things.

For services, a person trades skills and time with an employer for pay, where typically that employer is in some business position above that employee.

Have noted wryly to myself more than once when have greater reach than a company. Which is a real thing. I may NOT have figured out how to make money with my global reach but I have learned how to use for influence.

But it's just common sense, if some guy can pull attention from 50+ countries across multiple categories year after year after year, then probably I know a few things, you know?

Where is like, and what am I doing fancy? I use Blogger, and tweet a lot, but...and have an Instagram where I barely post. And some other things where am not looking to use latest whatever.

Even my open source project is over 14 years old and will be 15, this February.  So yeah I DO wonder at times how I not only keep drawing global attention but maintain the levels.

I catch myself tweaking things at times. Trying to figure out my own process.

And of course I've learned ways to leverage that attention various ways.

Just the money solution has eluded me.

So am still stuck in-between. AT least realize that the web enables the global reach and it is real. And it is impressive to draw attention from 50+ countries year after year after year. It even lets me maybe impact positively for people I think are under-promoted.

Of course am sure web will evolve to where any person who can draw attention on my scale will be able to make money some kind of way, as shows value in content. But current systems to me either are inadequate or involve folks I call money people in a way I find scary.

Meanwhile have to make a living. And now have a vehicle of opportunity, as was given one, but is also more pressure to maintain. And do NOT want to end up homeless again, and never want to need to go to a shelter again.

So what to do? Can focus on finding a company that can handle all of the above, which is what will do. While thinking more about the payment intermediaries who will one day transform the globe, as the web takes proper place in the global economy.

Just wish more of them were already here.

Is fascinating to me how I was trapped so long ago by those web stats. Was massively global at the start of my awareness of even having any kind of global position at 100+ countries and has been that way for over a decade now.

Yeah awareness from web companies giving those stats. Still rely much on Google, like most often still reference Google Analytics as is convenient.

May as well believe it--am global.

Even when I try to just walk away from it, as I can just not think about it, like to say, reality warps around me. I effect change and affect things around me just by being there. And rarely is there much negative for me, but that is not always true for others. So I have a responsibility for many reasons. Must face the best of my attention reality, and surmount what obstacles remain between me and financial stability.


James Harris

Some 2018 review

Now that 2018 is finally over can consider just a bit the big picture. Started out desperate for me and got worse as was evicted and ended up in a homeless shelter. But eventually started a course learning heating and air conditioning technology. Got a scholarship from a general, got a vehicle from Geico, and now have housing through Macon Housing Authority.

So yeah was a wild year.

And now to consider some blog stats. Where I use Google Analytics as is free and blog is set up with it. And will let me do things like get a picture over entire year. However it really gives kind of a bottom baseline.

So according to Google Analytics this blog had visits from 57 countries.

Top 5 Countries for visitors: US, France, India, Iraq and Russia

Least numbers of visitors from: New Zealand, Panama, Serbia, Singapore and Zambia

Yeah that's kind of wild to me. Can look at city visits, where says had visits from only 188 cities. And says were 34 languages. Where blog has Google Translate which I guess helps with that one.

So why no visitor numbers? Well the actual numbers of visitors are underwhelming to me, but they also give too much information, so I no longer share.

So now 2018 is finally over and have a vehicle this time around, as well as training in working on heating and air conditioning units. Was accelerated training but that is better for me anyway. And was top student, but hey, I have a degree in physics.

Where it was interesting to get the technical side, like with the refrigeration cycle, where of course I already knew by the physics. Technical is learning how things are done in actual systems versus just understanding the underlying theory.

And not unexpectedly I could blow out the tests in terms of the academics but was really proud to be top student on performance tests as well. But that was from perfection, as I like to work as hard as I can when it matters to get it right--the first time.

Ok, so now is time to focus on a JOB. Where am a guy with a degree in physics, my own open source software project used all over the world, and some blogs like this one, lots of ideas, and now some training in repairing heating and air conditioning units, along with MUCH, much more.

Isn't the United States something else? Where else but in this country could you have a story like mine? Rhetorical, I think.

Ok 2019, let's get things going. So much to do with so much expectation.


James Harris