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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Considering pressure to be successful

There is a way I think the web can impact negatively when it comes to its connectivity, which lets me get into the subject of Internet trolls, as reality is it can take a while for things to work out for someone. But you can get feedback from people from the start who may become aware of your dreams or passions long before you've broken through to real success!

That's where the web can be a bit harsh unless you shift your perspective, and realize that for most people, real success as most understand it, takes several decades, as in, about 20 years.

That's not entertaining though.

What people want to believe is overnight success, and yes, there are people who are achieving celebrity at least, rather rapidly, where the web is a big factor.

But they're not typical.

However, feeling the need to not look like a loser can make one susceptible to people, yup, calling you a loser! Which they will actually do even if you somehow manage that rapid rise to success. But at least then they can be counterbalanced by vast numbers of voices cheering you.

Early on though you can find yourself hearing nothing but negatives. And yup, will admit I have heard quite my share about me and my work. So yes, I need the perspective I'm giving here. It's actually how I manage it all myself. My view is focus on what's important to you, and ask yourself, do you wish to be ruled by others?

Why should their opinion matter more than your own? Who are these people? (Yes, literally, find out if you can. If they're anonymous it's just useless.) And why are they so interested?

One of the strangest things I've pondered is when people loudly proclaim your work is absolutely not of interest though by doggedly voicing their opinion they're declaring their own interest! And they can stalk you too! That's so irritating, and weird. You know like there are plenty of things not of interest to me in this world where I can't name a single one off-hand, because those things do NOT interest me enough for me to remember. Not like I'm going to stalk someone on the web who is doing, um, I'm reaching here...still pondering...giving up, got nothing. To me not interesting means, not interesting.

My own view is that control is often the actual aim. And reality is, you shouldn't be controlled by jeers, or cheers. You should be free I firmly believe.

However, if you DO draw attention then there may be people who can see value in trying to control you, and one of the classic things they may try is to tell you that you're worthless. Weird, eh? Find someone you think is of great worth to you and begin manipulating them by telling them they're worthless? So harsh. If you can be so convinced then that person may begin ordering you to do things.

Never let anyone else convince you anything about your own intrinsic worth, as human beings we are all equal in critical ways. We all get here the same way, from a mother, and eventually we all go, in death. In-between people will tell you things, but who told them?

Finding your way regardless takes effort. And we must rely on other people.

You can't just figure it all out on your own. Believe me, I've tried. Failed utterly. It can't be done. So much is given to us by human beings like us, who build on what was learned by human beings like us, over thousands of years. They were all for the most part trying to do their best, working to learn, and live.

People succeed all the time. It's why we're here. Others had to succeed before us.

And remember people keep moving the benchmark. The more you do, the more they will expect of you, as they know what you can do! That's great and can push you higher. You don't get to the major leagues by just being ok. You have to be one of the best of the best.

So yeah, these are things I tell myself. Sharing to see how they sound. You can say all kinds of things to yourself, which doesn't make them true. Somehow talking them out seems to help.

And yeah, for people who wonder how I keep doing things, yeah, here in this post is a lot of the answer. These are the things I tell myself, over and over again.

And expect success. Early on is frustrating as failures may be typical. Eventually you can get to kind of ok, and maybe muddle along with doing decent most of the time. But at some point you should be winning most of the time.

At which point you will know. Takes about 20 years to get there for most. Yes there are people who get there much more rapidly but do they have as much fun? Maybe. I don't know. So I do pay attention to such people to see if that question will get answered. Reality is where it matters. Which is why it's important to study successful people in the real world, and check things! Don't just trust what people tell you on the web. Verify.

The web helps you there too, thankfully. So yeah, those connections can be for good or ill, so it helps to think out how you can get the most good out of them, and avoid the negatives.

Positives are SO much more fun.


James Harris
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