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Sunday, March 10, 2019

Being my own executive

Am sure understate how jarring it was when finally got web analytics data showing my math blog was pulling visitors from 100 plus countries. At first thought certain things would quickly happen and when they didn't, puzzled if data was correct. And later began wondering more about what to present.

Like would tell myself: getting this global attention so maybe have a global responsibility? Shouldn't I put up things that are profound?

Which kind of froze me to some extent for about three years until the shrug arrived. So lots of times, am like, shrug--will just do SOMETHING and not worry how profound it maybe is.

But also at some point a part of me was watching this creative me just throwing up content at will, and without a plan really. Just kind of vague had this idea to somehow build an audience, you know?

And an executive part of me one day was like, enough. And yanked me off the web for a bit.

So then this executive aspect started managing me, and is kind of weird. But what else could I do? Sure yeah is still me, but am in control of everything.

But it also helped me look at things elsewhere differently. Before would concentrate on artists and content, but then started focusing on figuring out executive decisions. And eventually was even critiquing some of them, thinking to myself, would not have let that go out THAT way.

So now usually operate with three aspects in general: a creative side, the writer; an editor side; and an executive side, who manages everything.

But of course other times there are other aspects like a researcher, or whatever is necessary, but the primaries are there for EVERYTHING that goes public. Like this post, where the executive me gets center stage. So it reads differently. My editor side will get it next, while my creative side takes a break. And soon enough you will get it, when I post.

The executive me though makes that decision--to post.


James Harris

Sunday, March 03, 2019

Some challenges of global attention reality

Got a HUGE reprieve from full brunt of shift to a global attention reality back in 1996. I had a math paper I thought solved a math problem couple of thousand years old, about packing of spheres. Weird to realize was lucky in that the paper was rejected by an editor of a journal put out by the American Mathematical Society as too simple.

Back then was 26, and had only started doing my own admittedly amateur math research April 15, 1995, as decided to mark the date. Though am suspicious that I might have defaulted later to the tax day here in the US. Am sure though about the month.

Didn't argue with the editor, but moved on to other things including a lot of embarrassing and futile efforts at proving what is commonly called Fermat's Last Theorem. Which worked out for me as in December 1999 invented one of my most powerful math tools, though wasn't certain had done it at the time.

At its simplest what I put down is same as: x+y+vz = x+y+vz

But use it functionally as x+y+vz = 0(mod x+y+vz). Where "mod" just means modular. So like 1 pm is mod 12 hours. While military time is 1300. So you can say: 13 mod 24 is 1 mod 12. So we use modular ALL THE TIME with time. Just wanting to be sure doesn't seem too distant, just a little simple math.

But what I discovered can do algebra for you. Which is really cool. Is also really freaky when you realize the math is doing math, as is perfect, and can manipulate vastly complex expressions.

Future mathematicians will probably no longer do algebra the way it has been done up until our times, as why bother, when the math does algebra better?

But also I figured out my own way to count prime numbers in August 2002, which yeah, made me global at THAT point. But still had a reprieve in that SOME math people argued with me. And SOME tried to convince me wasn't a big deal. And there was no official recognition which continues to this day.

And I've wracked up quite a few major mathematical results, and of course got wise to the behavior.

Am NOT a mathematician. And my mathematical discoveries disrupt vast areas of what people thought was established mathematics, and simplifies HUGE chunks of it. Oh yeah and corrects the foundations of all of it. As I got a paper published showing how to appear to prove one thing under accepted math rules, which you could disprove with an argument using accepted math rules. Contradiction!!!

Thankfully could explain and fix the underlying problem.

Thanks to the web not only went global as a result of my math discovery, but eventually could check objective evidence. And have discussed much over the years. Like thanks to Google Analytics, found out my math blog was pulling interest from 125 countries/territories is how they put it, on an annual basis. Which was at least for a bit. That was back 2007 or 2008, am not sure which. Later I changed the name of the blog, kind of curious. And that dropped precipitously. But last year was back up a bit to 80 plus countries.

Even this blog consistently pulls attention from 50 plus countries annually and that's just what Google Analytics reports, which is more of a baseline. Plenty of people may not show up, like if they opt out of various things.

Years ago when was still in San Francisco, noticed my behavior was puzzling to me. Was convinced back then that I needed official recognition of my math discoveries for certain things to happen. And became aware of the global web attention various ways, but had no frame of reference to appreciate its full significance.

But I was having problems I had associated with major celebrities in terms of my behavior, and dealing with at times, crushing levels of anxiety. At one point was in a townhouse by myself, with a case of beer and a bottle of vodka, telling myself didn't have a problem. And at times was curled up on the floor in a fetal position as somehow felt better as dealt with...whatever it was. Talking it doesn't help. Am much better now.

Web attention is actually simply attention. Unlike some celebrity who can look say, at a television show or a movie or some other thing to get a handle on the 'why' of attention, I usually have a more vague (but recently homeless veteran status got me on television for a bit). And mine tends to be CONSTANT. I can witness brushes of celebrity come and go, with a certain detachment. But my basic attention reality is global by default with a constancy I marvel over as the years go by.

And it is 24 hours a day potential, 365 days a year. And I can check at any time.

Like now before this post goes live and therefore global, just went to look at Blogger stats. Those are different from Google Analytics but not as useful for annual. Here they tell me weekly as default.

In the last week according to Blogger stats this blog had visits from: Belgium, US, Israel, Ukraine, Canada, Unknown region, France, Moldova, and Vietnam

So yeah at least some from unknown countries. How many visits? I don't tell as tells too much information but let's just say, NOT an impressive number. Which for a long time felt like a contradiction which gave me yet another reprieve.

Why is it a reprieve?

You tell yourself you're one of the most famous people in the world with a global attention reality that means you're one of the most influential as well. And you consider how you react to global events where your advice matters, and you look at consequences where you wonder at times about accountability. And you try to maintain an even keel.

Or it just seems surreal. And you can ask yourself: is it even real?

Yeah I rhymed a lot there. Will leave it that way. For a long time I've been a major influence on world events, doing my best as tried to learn, and often learning after that I could do something.

And now most of the anxiety things are gone. No more curling up on the floor in the fetal position, and I don't even drink alcohol any more. And today will monitor our world in various ways, and if necessary, will as I've done so many times before, act for the protection of humanity, as best I can.

(Yeah sounds very wacky. Part of me wishes wasn't true. But also is like, if not me, who? Yeah that rhymes, um, also.)

Have been a portal to our world of incredible tools and some of them are some of the most advanced thinking tools humanity has ever had. But they don't have to help us. They can help us destroy each other and ourselves as well.

We will do ok though. I have faith in many of YOU, and am working on myself. Figure will always be a work in progress.

So yeah challenges? Got those. Am a major discoverer for the 21st century. We do things different now.


James Harris