Being my own executive

Am sure understate how jarring it was when finally got web analytics data showing my math blog was pulling visitors from 100 plus countries. At first thought certain things would quickly happen and when they didn't, puzzled if data was correct. And later began wondering more about what to present.

Like would tell myself: getting this global attention so maybe have a global responsibility? Shouldn't I put up things that are profound?

Which kind of froze me to some extent for about three years until the shrug arrived. So lots of times, am like, shrug--will just do SOMETHING and not worry how profound it maybe is.

But also at some point a part of me was watching this creative me just throwing up content at will, and without a plan really. Just kind of vague had this idea to somehow build an audience, you know?

And an executive part of me one day was like, enough. And yanked me off the web for a bit.

So then this executive aspect started managing me, and is kind of weird. But what else could I do? Sure yeah is still me, but am in control of everything.

But it also helped me look at things elsewhere differently. Before would concentrate on artists and content, but then started focusing on figuring out executive decisions. And eventually was even critiquing some of them, thinking to myself, would not have let that go out THAT way.

So now usually operate with three aspects in general: a creative side, the writer; an editor side; and an executive side, who manages everything.

But of course other times there are other aspects like a researcher, or whatever is necessary, but the primaries are there for EVERYTHING that goes public. Like this post, where the executive me gets center stage. So it reads differently. My editor side will get it next, while my creative side takes a break. And soon enough you will get it, when I post.

The executive me though makes that decision--to post.


James Harris