Quite deliberately I find I don't talk on certain subjects related to social, which has to do with certain theories I have on the subject I just decided when thinking of this post to call social energy.
Not surprisingly LOTS of energy is involved with social activities, where web activities have the unique ability to unite a wide group of people into thinking related things, which actually literally involves energy as well. So there's also inertia involved, like how much energy and time it actually takes to have a given number of people know a certain thing.
Physicists could actually do rough calculations believe it or not.
Some people can try to ride social energy associated with people who draw lots of attention, and discovered that years ago, like in over a decade, when would find myself irritated in weird unending arguments about math on a place called Usenet. In one case I actually just kept at it to see and had some person arguing with me indefinitely on into the night.
I concluded that was not desirable so studied it.
Much to my chagrin realized I had been providing the social energy. As I studied how that happened, learned to cut it off, and something amazing! Arguments ceased. People might still reply to me, and usually I would not reply back, but that was just part of it, as that hadn't worked before.
So why not explain it?
Because then might have to rework everything as such people adjust. But gist of it is, if you're a person who wants attention without deserving it, then one way to get it is to try and ride along with someone who has it.
Then one person is moving in social media entirely by another person's social energy.
And that can be cut off and parasitic person can just fade.
The behavior is parasitic in that one entity is sucking the energy from another and if you see a social person with TONS of such people all over, said person can literally be driven off the web by them.
But I think the behavior can be countered and socially parasitic humans can be discouraged--if you're careful.
Maybe should add more. One thing is I try not to let another person decide how I am to respond. In some cases you really have no choice, like if a police officer or someone in authority needs a response, but some random on social media? Why let that person control you? Which when you think about it, is the point of an insult! The person insulting you wishes you to respond angry or hurt or in some negative way. So it's a control mechanism.
But why should you give them what they want?
On what basis does that person deserve attention, for instance? Like consider an insult yelled at the president of the United States from someone in a crowd? So what?
Trouble with social media is people can seem too close. And simply seeing that insult makes it feel like someone is right next to you. That is an illusion. That person is still probably just some distant figure. Why let randoms control you?
If they are close then why are they? Is that a reason to distance them? Can you use community to shame bad behavior? Community is AWESOME when it's on your side.
Distance though I think is the best protection. Figure out why you think a comment matters, then keep asking until you realize why it doesn't. If it does, then deal with appropriately, like if a peer is upset with you.
Also it helps to figure out what someone has invested in an opinion. Classic for me was when singing karaoke and after LOTS of people would come by to congratulate me on singing something, there would be that one person who would wait to calmly inform me how horrible I supposedly was. I found that fascinating.
To me opinions, especially quick ones, can be more about feeling than objective or even subjective reality. Someone can get mad at you because how good you are makes them feel bad, I theorize. I've watched it happen so many times though feel confident on that one.
Actually have done it myself and felt silly, as it's so wacky. I try not to compare myself to others unless am really competing with them, and even then cautiously. Nothing wrong with wanting to be the best in a category, but I try to make sure am checking against people somewhere near my competitive ability.
Regardless of what you do though, someone might still get to you with some nasty statement or comment which I guess is also why I don't like talking about it too much. Admitting that I don't have a complete solution doesn't sit well with me. Maybe it's just a human reality. We can't completely control the ability of others to affect us.
Besides, am quite capable of expressing my opinion about someone that is not about positives, though follow certain rules. Like very important I think to try to tell the truth as best you can. Still it is an area where I ponder constantly as I don't want to be the thing I decry in others.
Just some thoughts. It's such a deep subject am wary of digging into it as could post for days. But main thing I think is asking yourself questions about why this particular person is grabbing your attention, especially if that person does not deserve it.
James Harris
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