My constant web

Part of me has kept wanting some kind of validation, like you go somewhere and take a test! Then you get a test score. But is like another part of me while thinking of this post was like, you mean like learning people all over the world are interested in my ideas?

But yeah have had THAT for years now where didn't feel real, and got tired of saying surreal. And kept telling myself, but should THIS happen then? Or THAT happen then? Those things aren't happening so maybe isn't real, right?

Then finally realized had vague ideas and from where? Why should I have ever known before anyway?

Then that shock to realize I do know now though. I know the reality. Have lived it.

My constant web reality is the way it works, where web lets us determine things were harder to so determine in the past, even though yeah, it does make sense when you think about it. The chatter of celebrity is just about talk. Giving people useful tools? Is on the constant.

I like Euclid as an example. No debates with myself about Euclid. While so recognized to many as a name about something pushed on them in school. He was some guy who did some things and that still matters thousands of years later.

The attention tells. People may not. Certain kinds of chatter may not be there.

Web enables us to check things.

But also yeah, I do get a HUGE amount of validation really from people who must have been sharing things of mine, but is so hidden. Don't like to talk it much. But years ago at times would go looking. Would desperately try to find something, somewhere linking to my blogs or whatever. Never could find. I go by reports from Google. There is so much weird.

(Makes sense though I realized, as linking information is what search engines use! Am not surprised they don't give me direct information there. Could allow me to reverse engineer their entire algorithms for instance. Not that I would, but they actually should only share so much data. Also there are privacy concerns am sure. So figured should note some pertinent reasons.)

Or yeah, I can just do web searches where something of mine ranks highly. And then can wonder, and wonder and wonder.

But is the influence real? Yeah. I've checked. From me liking something to not liking it, can just check how if I talk it that shifts things around planet Earth. And when I check and can't believe, I check again, and again, and again. Then I re-check some more. Which is kind of thing can take over a decade.

Was going to title this post my patient web, but mean patience. Web has been constant though, and patient as well, in terms of people who are mysteries to me, who are out there interested in my ideas and I guess, maybe sometimes in me.

Where will that validation come from if not here now? Maybe was never about that really.


James Harris