There can be a pressure to be creative which is useful. Still find myself endlessly rationalizing about my reasons. Then again, appreciating the products of the efforts over time.
Have been freely admitting have ran into financial difficulties which definitely have me talking things more. Before could just work a regular job like anyone else, as in just apply somewhere and work, where last for any length of time was for an insurance company doing data entry. Recently found placement through a Georgia state agency, which lasted a few months.
Yeah, but why would finding myself struggling financially push me to unload so much more in terms of assessment especially talking about rather remarkable things?
Well that does give intense motivation! Readily admit to myself and will here that if had found some solid revenue source? Is hard to imagine would be fighting these current battles. Probably would figure it not worth the risk. Makes me suspicious of myself too. However, am trying hard, so yeah must be some interference of some kind. Just need to figure it out.
Well am motivated--does NOT guarantee success. How do I improve the odds? How do I even figure out what they are? Still worry am working at properly defining the problem to a large extent.
That has been very difficult. Have done analysis on my blogs lots. Where this one seems to be focused lately more specifically to problem solving my personal financial concerns. That is pulling in much else as well. Has me pondering structure of global systems. And with previous analysis, determined no specific conspiracy focused on me, which is good. Wouldn't want one. Which am guessing was correct. Now am thinking: think broader to anything that could have suppression capability, not just for me either.
And to what extent should I worry that my belief of a vast system of deliberate suppression is nothing more than a realization of some psychological problem manifesting as a fantasy about our world?
Readily admit that is one reason focused more on experience of women.
Easier to step back and say, ok, forget about me, what would such a system look like, upon them?
Then yeah is obvious when you realize that women are just as intellectually capable as men.
Sure there has been much progress in many ways for women, in comparison to very harsh things in the past, but there are odd blocks which have been pushed to the forefront as tales of sexual predators fill the news.
Besides, now we have full scientific backing: women are JUST as intellectually capable as men. Must stay focused on that key fact as helps study situation accurately. Almost feel guilty emphasizing, as was there really a doubt, in my lifetime? And I don't think there was in educated circles. Most of my life feel like accepted that was true without thinking about it much, but was aware that others argued against.
Ok, so have keyed on women to get some distance from myself and my own experience. But still what about other options I might have taken to make ANY money?
Well have focused on money people, like talking how money people scare me and worrying how much value YOU and your work, on this blog. My analysis? They are part of the full system. And once again can look, yup, at women who with agents or management companies were not only underpaid, but also served up, to sexual predators.
Yeah but they are also key to my problem: and can't just dismiss them all.
Their quiet though, with someone like me? I have reach around the globe. Yes, focus on using for community primarily. Still is also weird. Am using weird so much in these posts. Is like though, even the money people are not behaving as if they want to make money, when it comes to me. What's up with THAT?
Looking yet again at what was done with women, consider: agents and management companies were LOSING money too, when they let their clients be underpaid!!! What gives?
So yeah, have learned much by making hypotheses and looking at women, especially in the US, to see: what would it look like if a VAST system were ruthlessly controlling to maintain certain things?
Skepticism is so powerful, but why? We have the key fact: no difference in intellectual ability.
Is definitely much worse than I thought possible, where web is getting that information out there! Kind of amazing to me really, how different from what I believed. Accepting the facts especially so brutal towards women beyond what I imagined possible, even here in the US, is also hard.
There is no way there could be disparities as seen in a free system. If merit ruled would see the fact reflected on intellectual capability.
Assessment: suppressing system is real. Can shift from myself and suppression with my ideas to what is STILL BEING DONE to women, to get perspective.
James Harris
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