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Thursday, March 08, 2018

Out of a shell and public facing

Does feel good to freely admit now was chasing math discovery as a reaction against American racism. Quietly resolved to not only find something that would blow away racist notions, but which could be done without a doubt. Which meant math.

Still am nervous on the subject though. Which I think is understandable.

Focus on math was to get around people fighting to deny the truth. Math has that ability to be perfectly provable.

And was right to so focus! Had accomplished my goal by summer 2002, and beyond my wildest dreams by 2004 with something else, and have done more since! And not surprisingly various systems pushed back so have been slowly teasing them apart, where weirdly enough not all were racist.

Where have explained those systems so here can talk more about other, like what happens to you when you have global reach, which for me was thanks to the web.

It messes with your mind.

People think it is about press and money and I thought so as well, until was dealing with things, and not having those just meant could process quietly without it being all over the press or embarrassing myself in situations around people with money.

Turns out the press just chases after people who get attention, usually. So was like am just one of the biggest they willfully ignored, and at first was mad then was glad! Especially as learn more about the reality of how things work. Usually for even most celebrities the press is a rarer thing which is about promotion, or is about something negative. So who cares?

When was in San Francisco, was often furious too as did not understand what was going on and was worried would not achieve my dreams when already had really but how to know? Also found myself strutting around at times like this huge global figure. Of course was looking not only at web stats which I emphasize but DOING things as well.

Like will admit did NOT directly influence the 2008 election in Obama's favor. But was active around that election in other ways. And have taken a position not to pick political figures, and not to influence elections. Which has been important overseas.

My view is that politicians should earn their positions, which means winning elections on merit.

So yeah, like am fascinated by British politics but by my ideals will not directly interfere with them. DO at times like to help make fun of them, but I know that is part of their culture, with some things just hilarious! Like here in the US we like ripping on presidents.

For nations that is important, so no--my one planet, many peoples and one human species philosophy is also about not interfering, where look at national boundaries as of HUGE importance. It would take quite a bit for me to cross that line and would talk it out much before would do it.

These are the kinds of things that press should have been questioning me on, and they know why, but for others sounds pretentious am sure, unless also know why, and maybe wondered. So no, despite my interest in the area was dedicated to the idea that any person for the presidency should earn the position on merit only. So will not endorse a candidate on something as specious as race, as am ONLY looking for merit. For now will not endorse any political candidate. That could change for the US only though.

Made up my own political party to help me in this area, which is not official so can claim myself as only one following it. Which helps me separate from others in American politics.

For years really went into a shell in many ways, which got worse when got laid off from my regular job doing data entry at a major insurance company. Maybe was more like what one would expect for a global figure. Happened after I decided needed to put my picture up. Decided was my duty to show a Black man in a different way, who had global reach.

The willful lack of discussion around me in certain areas IS deliberate am sure. And am like that kind of thing worked in the past. With me just lets me take you apart without you saying anything about it, if you are certain organizations like press or certain businesses or political people.

And have done it. Have done it many times and it amazes me that people can learn things that worked for over 150 years after slavery which do not work with the web, and quietly go down in flames, knowing am telling them am doing it. I like to let them know ahead of time, you know?

Ever more sophisticated techniques developed for a 20th century world. But in 21st century can simply explain them. And study them with some fascination. In essence were systems working to NOT have merit rules so mostly males who lacked sufficient ability, could be successful regardless.

Now their authority is being checked.

THAT is the part other people maybe do not witness and cannot understand when some dysfunctional yet powerful organization simply crumbles when I told them would do it, where will admit that requires help! And lots of it. And they just implode. Web enables. Or in other words do NOT completely understand how it all happens either just that it is possible because of the web.

Then headlines then around the world, but not the correct explanation.

Is important to admit I do NOT completely understand the process and was a source of much back-and-forth with myself for years. So you reality check, which is the other reason to inform ahead of time. But also found limits. And very important limits with web help in general, especially if was a personal problem, as in, never worked for a personal problem. Seemed to routinely work for global problems, and you can get a vast range of emotions on that one. Like I have this job without a paycheck for it, and realize, yeah, actually I do.

Leaving me with the task of also finding still a paying occupation, which also I learned has to be completely separate! Where for some time seemed so wrong, and now am like, oh, I understand better. Still is kind of thing is better to learn sooner than later--before you become impoverished. And have discussed my current financial desperation on another blog. Yup, talking a personal problem, so yeah DO keep trying. Do talk so many things out now.

And you think then I can simply be moved by being ignored? I think that is funny. Gave me time to process but have pushed myself recently as ponder my responsibilities. Part of me simply wished to just withdraw from the world as much as possible. And for years in many ways did, into a protective shell.

With much progress and the web picking up steam in shredding so many of those prior systems was ironic to note to myself, maybe I never needed my dream anyway. The web by allowing information to flow freely is helping radically debunk delusions of innate superiority of a ruthless and cruel few still left with them.

Regardless feels good that not only DID I achieve my goals, but was right--needed math. AND got to quietly process through reality of high levels of attention, without that making headlines around the globe.

Public facing is very important for me because is a constant thing with my global presence. My blogs and other social media do most of the heavy lifting there though. They are very good at it too. While my global is easily checked by others. And more and more understand a lot more about why certain things are done in certain ways, as reality is, for each of us, how we look public? Matters much.


James Harris

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