Weird comfort without money

One thing has emerged as a major psychological thing for me has been a weird comfort in the discomfort of struggling with money. But is so sad, but also telling, as my finances tumbled got fewer distractions as people disappeared on me. That is classic so not grousing, just noting.

But yeah, dismissed some things, like web attention too much which I think was about willful denial. So put my picture up on the web! Should be fun. Told myself could represent a Black guy in a way the world rarely sees. So many global are known for sports, arts and entertainment, or political position.

I'm known for math, and other ideas. I'm an idea guy.

There are few people at all regardless of gender or race who are globally known primarily on the basis of the thoughts that have come from their minds. And still keep coming I should note, like here now. Global pull for musing? I know I like it.

Soon after decided should put my picture up, got put into a general layoff at company where was doing data entry, which I liked to call, my day-job. But I could rationalize it. Was part of a group layoff, was last hired even though had been there 5 years. Now am like, maybe the picture finally up had something to do with it, but then again, maybe not.

Regardless, have been working at mysteries lately. One of the things I pointed out is that I use a simple meta process: introduce better ideas and expect people to choose better.

Naively have also figured with certain ideas that DO draw attention as mention much, they'd also bring attention to ME, so I've spent more time preparing for and dreading that attention, and definitely NOT pursuing it. Which lets me do things, like social media, my way. I actually pride myself on how somehow I limit my Twitter account. Is so cool.

However, have to make money. Is just how society works. And definitely want to pull my own weight, where feel like yeah, have valuable ideas, but you also have to have realized value in the form of remuneration for your efforts, which is income. And facing my situation involves not claiming is rationalization about the web impact, when I know what has happened trying to get jobs since then.

But hey, being a business and realizing some person somehow, someway gets global attention? That has to become part of your business plan or more appropriately, is an unacceptable business risk. I DO quietly note to myself when some company proudly talks its global, if it even has, and am like, I'm in more countries than THAT. And there must be a way to make money that way but is a longterm thing.

Oh, so other problem is yeah, my ideas do as I say they do. And then others do what I think is weird. Other people have become the mystery, who know the story, and for the most part from my perspective are TOO quiet. What's up with that?

So am blogging two current problem areas. This blog has been working hard to work through problems relevant, and has made great progress. Am expecting rapid answers in these areas as well. And gave myself permission with public notice days ago, to use all necessary steps within law, and within my own rules, so no worries!

Should be fun.


James Harris